Funk-N-Fiction

Todays first flash fiction is a delightfully creepy story from Jeanne C Stein. And definitely don’t miss out on Jeanne’s contest info after you read!!

Lunchtime
by Jeanne C Stein

It wasn’t their fault— not really.

They chose to live in a secluded part of the forest, hidden in a fold of land not easily seen by the naked eye. They lived on rodents and rabbits and the occasional fox that wandered unknowingly into their glade. They were content to be unknown-not bothering or being bothered.

But soon some intrepid truffle hunter (we’ll all him Lloyd) and his dog ventured far off the park trail (ignoring the signs, I must point out, that said not only: “No Dogs”, but also: “Stay on the Trail”.) Pretending not to see either, Lloyd loosed his hound and bounded after him.

Truffle hunters are a strange breed. They are licensed and are supposed to abide by an ancient code of honor that keeps them from trespassing on another truffle hunter’s patch. However, Lloyd knew that there was a treasure trove of truffles now up for grabs because a fellow hunter (we’ll call him Ralph) hadn’t been seen or heard from for several weeks. Lloyd had waited a respectful amount of time. Ralph, who had obviously moved on without sharing the location of his bounty, which it was custom to do, left Lloyd free to claim the patch for himself.

How did Lloyd know where this wonderful treasure trove was located?

Lloyd felt no shame in admitting he had followed Ralph one day—surreptitiously, of course—but only as far as he could without giving himself away. He watched Ralph leave the trail at exactly the same spot as he and his dog and disappear in the direction they were now heading.

The forest was thick here with old growth oak trees, the very kind under which truffles are often found. Lloyd’s dog, a valued truffle sniffer, didn’t hesitate under any one of them, though, and continued nose to the ground on a straight course through the trees.

Lloyd was baffled. He’d followed Ralph this far into the forest. Now all he could see ahead of him were more trees and not a hint of a truffle around. Maybe he shouldn’t have given up so quickly the other day because it was clear if there were truffles around, his dog wasn’t smelling them.

And yet, Ralph had come back to town with a bag full.

Had he known he was being followed? Had he deliberately led Lloyd astray?

“What are you doing here?”

The voice at Lloyd’s elbow so startled him, he yelped and whirled around.

“What—“

“I said, what are you doing here?”

Lloyd’s head whipped from right to left. He saw no one. “Where are you?”

“You don’t belong here. You have to leave.”

Lloyd was suddenly aware that his dog was back at his side, yet he hadn’t barked or given any indication that someone else had joined them. Unusual, since he was very protective of his master. Lloyd continued to look around.

He placed a hand on his dog’s head. “See anything, boy?”

The dog whimpered softly and edged closer to Lloyd’s leg.

Lloyd felt him tremble.

“What is it?”

“You should pay attention to your dog. He’s trying to tell you something.”

This time it was the dog that gave a startled yelp. He pulled away from Lloyd and took off, his frenzied barking bouncing off the trees.

At the same time, Lloyd felt the ground beneath his feet quiver and shift. He fought to keep his balance but the more he struggled, the harder it became until he finally hit the ground with such force, the breath was knocked from his body. He tried to sit up, but his arms were pinned to his side. He tried to stand, but his legs refused to support him. Helpless, he craned his neck to see what was holding him.

Mushrooms.

Mushrooms with teeth.

Mushrooms who morphed into tiny figures with grotesque heads and tiny beady eyes and mouths with rows of pointed teeth.

“What are you?” Lloyd whispered. “Why are you doing this to me?”

One of the tiny figures separated itself from the group holding him and crawled up his arm to stand on his chest.

“We told you to leave. You ignored us.”

“But what are you?”

“What we are isn’t important. What’s important is that you’ve found us now and like all humans you will tell others that we exist and that will be the end of us.”

“No. No.” Lloyd could feel pinpricks of pain at his arms and on the back of his legs, like the bite of a thousand mosquitos. “I can keep your secret. I promise to tell no one.”

“That’s what the human before you said. We made a bargain—we’d give him the thing you call truffle, and he would not divulge our secret. But here you are. He promised it would be just the one last time. Well, when he came back, betraying us, we made sure it would be his last time. Did he tell you the way? Offer to bring you?”

Lloyd shook his head frantically. “No. He kept his bargain. I followed him. He didn’t know—“


What had been the tiniest of irritations was becoming blossoms of pain. Lloyd could feel the warm, stickiness of his blood pooling around his limbs. “Please,” he cried. “Let me go. I promise I’ll keep your secret.”

“Too late for that.”  The tiny figure was now joined by dozens of others, working their way along his body, tearing at his clothes to expose his skin. “We’ve tasted you—a delicacy you know. Not too many humans blunder into here so we have to take advantage of those who do.” He laughed. “Look at it this way—you have your delicacy, the thing you call truffle, we have ours.” He smacked his lips. “And it’s lunchtime.”

THE END                                                                                                                                                                         

Jeanne is offering up a $50 Amazon gift card for one lucky reader of this creepy mushroom/truffle story!!!

Simply leave a comment on this post about the story, and you’ll be entered to win. 🙂

Contest starts today, and goes through midnight on November 1st. Our winners will be chosen from all eligible entries on November 2nd and notified, and then announced in our wrap-up post on November 3rd.

Good luck!!